Eat the dang brownie. You’re a size zero (this literally applies to allll sizes, and is true for everyone I was just speaking to myself in this journal entry!), used to fit in kids sizes, you have already worked out today and you’re thinking about the next chance you can have to burn some calories, skip a meal. You have never had a clinically diagnosed “eating disorder,” you’ve never decided you weren’t worthy enough to eat food completely or anything, but you do struggle every single day to feel like you deserve to eat a meal, you struggle to feel good about your body no matter how hard you try you can never be "perfect."
Sometimes 50 people can tell me how cute I look in a day but on the inside I can be hating myself for not skipping breakfast when my screaming mind said it would make me prettier, make me feel better about life if I could just be a little bit skinnier, a little bit more of this, little bit less of that. I know you feel the same way about certain things because we are all girls and we are all insecure to some degree about something or another, and if you aren’t, please please teach a class, I will pay haha. All of my friends, literally every single girl I have ever met struggles with body image to an INTENSE degree.
Some days now if I am able to order a soda at dinner or eat a cup of icecream in a day without hating myself it is such a win because that was soooo not possible in the past! No matter how skinny or unskinny you think you are or you actually are, I'm here to tell you worrying unceasingly about it is aweful! and brings no joy, so stop worrying about it so much (easier said than done i know). The real difficulty is to overcome how you think of yourself, chances are no one else even cares about your weight, but they can't really get to know you because you are too busy dealing with insecurities surrounding the ways you look to even be the real you. what feels heavy on your mind and heart is not heavy at all to God! And He wants to carry it for you!!!! It honors God to come to Him with your restless thoughts about yourself because it says you trust Him. His yoke is easy, His burden is light!
If your story with insecurity is not victorious yet (Just because we still slip back into listening to the enemies lies over us does not mean we loose, Jesus already won for us, throw that in the tempters face next time he tries to trip you sister) then listen up: its.not.over.yet. Cause all His stories end in Victory. If you ask Him to come, not just the "peace of God", but the very GOD OF PEACE WILL COME INTO YOUR FIRE and turn it into lots of candle lights in windows all over the world to help guide other people home (wow i'll say it that was fire kathryn haha *claps emoji). Our strength is never found in how intensely we struggle but in how fully we surrender!! Our daily troubles are an opportunity to suffer or to go from glory to glory with Jesus as the comforter by our side, changing us one.day.at.a.time. So don’t worry if you haven’t reached your destination yet hun, don’t give up on the process, don’t miss out on the journey!!:) Thats where He teaches you the most about His heart, where He whispers strength after strength and love story after love story. Instilling quiet confidence.
A PRAYER FOR THE JOURNEY: “O CHRIST, DO NOT GIVE ME TASKS EQUAL TO MY POWERS, BUT GIVE ME POWERS EQUAL TO MY TASKS, FOR I WANT TO BE STRETCHED BY THINGS TOO GREAT FOR ME. I WANT TO GROW THROUGH THE GREATNESS OF MY TASKS, BUT I SHALL NEED YOUR HELP FOR THE GROWING.“
-E. STANLEY JONES.