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  • kathryn elizabeth

honesty with God

Being honest with God. 

Staying close to Him in college. 

Over the past year or so I have gotten a lot of comments or dm’s asking how I keep Christ at the center of my life as a college student and where I get my inspiration from. Honestly the whole “crazy college kid” thing has never really been of any interest to me, so drinking, cheeting on my bf, cussing, etc, etc. have never been a major temptation for me thankfully. But, making Jesus my number one priority is always hard, even at Christian Universities like Baylor and Samford because you get caught up in how busy life can be with classes and practice/social life, etc. 

Honestly the only way I’ve found to keep Christ at the center of my life is to keep Him at the center of my heart, which is only possible when I am completely open and vulnerable with Him. My favorite quote I’ve ever heard regarding openness with God is “a vulnerable heart is a heart that will constantly grow" (Gracie Parker). 

Right after Jesus died (well 3 days after:), we all know the story, Mary came to the tomb and found it empty. She began weeping because she thought they had taken his body. Then Jesus showed up and said, “mary, mary, mary, why are you crying?” Sometimes in life we have to allow ourselves to weep, to be real in our emotions before Jesus in order for Him to call us by our name. Just another reason to accept the pain this life throws our way. 

Overall, taking the time to sit with Jesus and be honest with Him is what allows me to draw closer to Him. Consistently apologizing when I mess up, being real with my emotions and asking God to help me understand why I feel a certain way never fails to draw me back closer to his heart, back into His arms. I think being honest with God like this is hard for us to do or even think about doing in the first place because we know that God already knows every thought and action before it comes. Yeah, he already knows everything, but there is something vulnerable, something real, beautiful, and intimate about asking Him to search our hearts and to come, sit with us and “know our every thought.” It’s scary because sometimes we don’t want to admit how we really feel or what we’ve really done to Jesus because we think we’ll feel ashamed once we make these “confessions,” but when we open up our hearts before Jesus we give him room to approach us, to call our name, just like He did with Mary when she was weeping outside the empty tomb. Then once he can approach us because we were vulnerable he can show us the good in the "empty tombs" in our lives. The things that appear to be so broken are in reality so amazing after he shows us how he is going to use them. God loves to comfort his people, he hates our sorrow. Sometimes that’s what it takes though, sometimes it takes our sorrow filled hearts open before God to feel called and see ourselves as free in Jesus. 

At any time in life this vulnerable place with God is so important, but once we get into college it’s the first time we really don’t have a “home” because we do not live with our parents but school is not necessarily a home either, even though it may feel like it is sometimes. The place we find at Jesus’ feet is one where we can kick off our shoes and let our hair down, one of complete transparency and vulnerability. An intimate place where we are fully known, and yet still fully loved, truly a place we can call our home. 

Sometimes instead of this homey and intimate place with Jesus, we consider our quiet time just a factor in our own spiritual progress, which is so far from the truth :: the fact is, Jesus longs for this time with you, he actually misses us when we do not come and meet with Him every morning. 

Do you think God “understands” when you’re “too busy” to attend to his presence in your life? Too tired? Or too embarrassed to admit you’ve done something He would disapprove of? Satan definitely likes being able to use all of these reasons to set up barriers between God and us. That’s why we gotta be super careful to take every thought captive and look at any feelings or actions that could diminish our hunger to seek after Jesus. 

So next time instead of running to the “quick fix” (shopping, food, netflix, friends, gossip, alcohol, etc.) to settle your heart, make time to listen, make time to be intimate before Jesus, because that’s what he wants and it is actually what you want , what your heart is craving, whether you know it or not. 



go listen to even when it hurts // Hillsong United 

so good !! 

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