How to let people into our messes? Is it even ok/allowed?
I always feel like a bad person when I drag people into my messes because I don’t want to be “annoying” or bother them. I’m not their responsibility and they have their own problems. Even if they are a friend I know cares about me I care about them too so I don’t wanna drag them down with my problems. That’s logical thinking right? Wrong.
Whenever people around me are dealing with something hard in their life the first thing I tell them is DON’T U DARE DO THIS ALONE because I’ve been there and it hurts so so so bad. If you’re friends with me I’m gonna keep asking you how you are until you’re tired of seeing me. I’m gonna make you do stuff with me even when you really don’t wanna. You know why? Because that’s what community is, you drag people out of their self-pity, isolated state, their embarrassment at their situation whatever it is, out of themselves and back into real life cause life doesn’t stop even when it gets you down, especially when it gets you down.
I was talking with someone earlier today about impressions and vulnerability. I worry so so much about impressions. I want to leave a Christ-like impression but no one is perfect so obsessing over leaving this huge impression is not realistic. I think I have a skiewed view of what impressions I leave on people and what that is supposed to look like. I feel like I can’t tell anyone when I’m really hurting and need help because they would think I’m not actually trusting God and not really living in His joy when life just sucks. I also don’t wanna seem like a debbie downer to my friends cause then I feel like they wont wanna spend time with me. If that’s the case they aren’t actually that great of a friend okay?
When my friend and I were discussing how hard it is to live with the mask of “oh I’m doing good” on, pretending to be ok when we’re not, she said it’s ok to take that mask off, it’s actually crippling to leave it on. She told me, the best impression you can leave is an authentic one.
The next time someone asks how you are instead of the cliché “good” or “ok” allow yourself to be vulnerable, to take the helping hand reachin’ out if they are a friend that genuinely cares about you. And if you don’t have someone like that go ahead and hit that email button in my bio or slide in those DM's cause you deserve someone who cares. Christ made us for authentic community. Let’s pursue that for ourselves and push others to do the same instead of living with our masks on. Being vulnerable will make feeling valuable so much easier.