- kathryn foreman
Not The You Show
Hey, so today I wanna talk about rejection and the "me show" that comes with it. So much of rejection is mental (granted yes some of it is physical or situational), the majority of us who struggle with feelings of rejection actually do most of it to ourselves. We over analyze everything everyone is saying and make it all about us and convince ourselves everyone around us is either upset with us or making fun of us. Here's the truth, they probably aren't even thinking about you, so stop obsessing over yourself. As all my high school friends would say, "get off your high horse" haha. Sometimes this process of “getting over yourself” can be harder than you think though. When we get in the habit of thinking everyone’s comments, thoughts or actions are meant towards us and we over analyze everything it is hard to just “stop” and “turn off” the insecurities.
So how do we train our minds to quit with the obsessiveness, with the self doubt, and lack of peace/confidence? I’m definitely not a pro at this, but who is? A work in progress. So, first off how do you deal with rejection when someone actually does something and it is not just you over analyzing what someone is thinking about you? Well I’m a very driven person so my response when someone says something slighting is to prove them wrong. Example: One time someone said “you only get a lot of instagram likes because you USED to be fast.” Okay first off I don’t get a lot of likes but secondly for someone who is already fighting not to identify themselves as only arunner, particularly a runner who does’t measure up anymore because injuries have held me back for four years now, this comment stung a LOT. Oh my gosh it sucked and I dwelt on it wayyy more than I should have. BUT in the moment I decided to handle it with grace and determination. I looked at them and said “well I don’t care about instagram likes, but you just wait till I break 17 minutes in the 5k this season. You just watch, I didn’t just USED to be fast.” The comment hurt, ya, but I verbally combatted the fear and worthlessness tied to it with strength, confidence, and a hope for the future. Now whenever that comment comes back to haunt me I actually smile with confidence because I think of the hope-filled strength Christ gave me in my response. So now instead of that comment someone made creating insecurities down the line it has built up my confidence higher than before the remark was even made. I honestly cannot wait to prove that person wrong. The next time someone slights you, let your response feed the fire inside you to fight for your future instead of letting them put you down (not saying to be mean, just be confident !! ).
But, on another note how do we combat rejection when it is not face to face but made up in our own head. Well 1st off if you’re having doubts and insecure thoughts they aren’t from God for sure and probably not self-generated either. Those thoughts are almost always from the devil. The ugly thoughts he leaves are a lot harder to combat than verbal offenses because they are much sneakier and harder to recognize. The only way to deal with these is calling your thoughts out one at time and proclaiming Christ’s truth to contradict the devil’s lies. One of my favorite “motivation Monday” type songs is Hillsong United’s “Not Today.” It calls out the devil for the liar that he is. My favorite line of the song is “fear is just a liar running out of breath.” The devil’s lies cannot continue to affect you. If you don’t allow him to speak over you by turning off his oxygen source (your emotional reaction) and suffocate him with Christ’s truth through scripture, worship and prayer you’ll begin to realize a major confidence boost. Not because anything happened like THAT guy commenting on your instagram picture or the AMAZINGLY cute barista at the coffee shop giving you free coffee, but just because the constant stream of negative – self talk has been turned off. Even if the negativity is turned off for a little while, the devil usually finds a back door or another way in, so stay on your guard and don’t ever quite dwelling on all the positive pages God has placed right in front of you in His word.
The devil uses fear as a way to lie to us. Fear is a champion with a track record of winning. Records are meant to be broken though, so let’s take em down. One. Day. At. A. Time. When we focus on what God can do through us instead of what everyone is thinking of us is the moment we pass fear. Now we just gotta stay in front till tha finish line (don’t worry though if ya get tired JC’ll carry ya through;).